I was listening to a new album today. Well new for me..lol. Mike Posner- A Real Good Kid.
My husband- also my spiritual Guru. Text me this morning and told me I need to listen to it, but to also check out his Instagram page. Which as usual, my day started with a rush and I did not. So I downloaded the album before I left for the gym, and called him to tell him I did, but hadn’t looked at his page. And ask- Mike Posner? Why does that sound familiar? His response was, ” I think he sings that song you like- I took a Pill in Ibiza”. Boom! Yes.. got it. Side note- I LOVE EDM music. It brought me back to life at a point in my 20’s when I was anxiety ridden and hid at home.
Continuing on.. My husband was telling me how a friend of his use to promote his music before he was famous. And something made him come across his album and instagram page. That he was really close with Avicii.. and he had also lost his father. That he put his new album out and said something along the lines of- if you don’t have a dull 40 minutes to listen to the album beginning to end.. don’t. It serves a full message.
So I started as I rolled out and did my warm up yoga.
So real. So raw. He put it all there.. as therapy.. as a call for help. As a method of healing.
Interesting timing. As I am coming up for fresh air after a very busy year last year, and very busy November and December. Good year but the non stop going, traveling and being out of my routine also meant a lot of anxiety. Its interesting, the way my anxiety changes and impacts me differently each time I have a extended spout of it. 2018 I had a lot.. it was milder, but constant.. drawn out. After a busy Christmas holiday I legit felt like I just couldn’t catch my breath. Things would chill out and boom. Something else.
The positive in these spouts of anxiety, after the dip after (thankfully my depression is mild).. is the high of happiness.. and mostly the clarity.
I woke up with this clarity this morning. After coming out of a sinus infection sick coma.. lol. Excited to be home.. get back into my regular routine.. things I love. The gym.. my yoga. Taking care of my house. Putting my energy into my little girl and my husband. The simple things that help keep me in my happy place. Even as I ran around running last minute errands for a shower I am hosting tomorrow.. I found myself extra grateful to stop, and get in my workout.
As I entered the gym I was reflecting on my husband and I’s growth recently.. as a couple and individuals. We have both felt the growing pains of individual growth recently. And as I started into this new album. I found myself loving the idea we are ever growing and ever changing. That “finding yourself” isn’t a one time thing. That it is a forever going process. This thought use to exhaust me.. mostly from the cycles of anxiety I experienced in my 20’s. I couldn’t help but just want to reach a good place and stay there.. And let’s just face it, a lot goes down from when you enter your twenties to when you exit them. Of course everyone experience is different. In a nut shell mine was a roller coaster of highs and lows. Some of the best memories.. and some of my worst.
Today I found myself full of so much hope thinking of the fact my personal growth is on going.. that each day we have a new day to do better, be better.. learn, grow.. change. That God willing I have a lifetime to keep changing.. and most importantly love and embrace who I am in that current moment.. that current phase in life. That instead of being disheartened when I get off track, or feel behind.. to be hopefully and grateful that I can make my comeback, and each time I fall.. I learn and grow in new ways that I didn’t know I needed to.
This album brought all this full circle. That we need to own our shit. Our good.. our bad.. and everything in between. And even when we feel our lowest.. we shouldn’t hid it from the people we love.. from the world around us. But that we should be who we are in that moment.. own it. Be raw. Be real. That owning who you are, even in the worst moments.. is the way back to the light. And being open and honest.. being real.. Not only helps you save yourself.. but you can also help save others sharing your struggles.
Love yourself in all moments of life. Allow yourself to reflect on your current state in a positive light.. no matter how bad things feel. Reflecting.. accepting yourself. Allowing yourself to be understanding without negative.. critical judgement, empowers you.
There is always good to be found within you.. and sometimes that good is owning our lows.. our bad times. Being open and honest.. being real. When we carry all this around inside of us.. we tend to start carrying the weight of the world in on shoulders.
Life is ever growing. Embrace who you are, and how you change along the way. Love who you are in each moment.. don’t be afraid to embrace the moments that are bad.. the moments that are hard. The moments we aren’t proud of who we are. Be raw. Be real. Be you.. and in doing so the better you will always prevail.. always grow.. and always move forward 💕
love you. live long.